Citizenship quiz
I think the government has missed the point with the questions in its citizenship quiz. What the flag looks like, who the prime minister is and what the capital is are not things that you need to know to save money.
The need to get back to the real world and ask:
The need to get back to the real world and ask:
- how much can you claim for work expenses in your tax before you need receipts?
- when does the supermarket mark down the price of meat?
- when are the gates at the football opened so you can get in for free?
- what time is the newspaper delivered to your next door neighbour?
- what time does your next door neighbour get up?
- how many pens from work can you fit in one pocket?
- what dishes at the China Diner are best avoided?
posted by Whitey at 9:35 am
14 Comments:
How many times can you drive the Saab up to Vinnie's Van before they refuse to serve you?
Whitey
I am thinking of moving down from the mainland. I have never shagged my sister, and don't have two heads, and none of my toes are stuck together. I can also read and went to school beyond Grade 4 - so maybe they would not let me in to Tassie....
But, is there a Tassie Citizenship Quiz? If yes, can you please give me a few questions and answers to it ?
Maybe
I should add that I don't own a flanney, don't own a Booney doll, don't have a mullet, my car is not 14 years old, I have a job, I have never received welfare, I have never cut down a tree just for the sake of it, I have not been on the Spirit of Tassie, I don't wear acid wash, I have been overseas, I wash, I have been in a traffic jam and I know how to tell the time.
So please tell me up front if I am over qualified for Tassie Citizenship, before I waste your time.
One more thing, I have never had VD.
Times have changed Ron, to move to Tassie you needed to be a baby boomer who doesn't realise you can't get a hip replacement down here, has recently sold their fibro in Hurstville or Dandenong for a billion dollars and wants to live in Sandy Bay.
From what I can tell Ron, other than not coming from Hurstville you fit the bill. See you at Prossers Fridee.
Funky boomer is wrong, wrong, wrong.
You just need to be an ex-celebrity who needs to move to a really small pond.
Buy some Georgian refrigerator in the midlands, gush a lot about how the cheese is just to die for and write a column about cultya in the local rag.
Ron sounds just the man - see you at the Bothwell pie shop Ron!
the two fake boomers above are more probably examples of that other immigrant phenomenon - the returning Tasmanian Gen-Xer - displaying their bitterness at having come home to find they can only afford to live in Kingston and despite having once earned $100000 in the dotcom boom they're now selling mortgages to the cashed up plumbers they once looked down on at highschool.
In your face you whingy Gen-X gits. You should have bought a house in the 80s like the rest of us.
ps I'm from Chatswood, not Hurstville, so in your face again.
Whitey - you still have not answered my question.
I really want to move from Melbourne to Tasmania – but do you think I will fit in ?
I don’t smell. I have hair. I don’t own a safari suit. I like slender women. I have no tattoos. I have my own teeth. I don’t have a drinking problem. I have never owned a lumberjack coat. I have never been in a fight. I have no beef against aborigines. I have never killed a Tasmanian Tiger. I don’t own a gun. I think this Bav Tav is not fine dining. I know what an hor’s douve is. All of my friends earn more than $25,000. I don’t go on holidays to Devonport. I have never been on the dole. I don’t have a chip on my shoulder. I am not a member of the Greens. I do not own any Gunns shares. I have been to a library. I like gum trees. I don’t destroy native vegetation. I have been to a dentist. My breath doesn’t wreak. I pay the top rate of tax. I don’t smoke Winnie Blues. I have never been sexually attracted to any relative. I have no criminal record. I think Richard Butler was OK. I think that Tasmania’s drinking alcoholic pig isn’t funny. I know somebody who works in private industry. I think that Booney drinking 48 cans to London was pathetic. I have never visited anybody in Risdon. I have never caught syphilis off my aunt. I own more than one pair of shoes. I drive more than 4,000km a year. I have never assaulted a flight attendant. I know where Europe is. I don’t get excited when I see the Cat & the Fiddle. My whole family doesn’t see me off at the airport when I go interstate for a few days. I’m over Todd and Brant. I don’t wear desert boots. I never considered voting for One Nation. I have seen a live fox. I have private health insurance. I cannot sing working class man. I don’t buy a slab of bourbon and coke each week. My house is made of bricks.
it's a long way from Chatswood to the top of the gulf...
or so I've heard.
and ron and ron and ron....
Ron Walker,
Sounds like you should stick to Victoria. Make the most of Federation Square and Spencer Street Station. Make friends with a policeman. Enjoy watching football teams from WA, SA, Qld and NSW on TV (and occassionally at the MCG). Pay for a tram ticket. Enjoy the beach culture. Taste a gangland pizza at Carlton. Try and depress Jeff Kennett. Watch Warney watch the Victorian cricket team. Discover there is a Victorian cricket team. Send Dean Jones a Happy Ramadam card. Climb the Westgate bridge. Buy a leater jacket from the Vic Market. Go to a nightclub and end up face down in the Yarra.
If you can get all this done next week you will pass the test to get into Devonport.
eh... what... huh...
did someone mention foxes....
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